The Power of Connection

We live in a world where technology allows us to connect instantly — yet never before have we felt so disconnected. Whether we seek to create deeper relationships, find fulfilment in the work we do, or even practise compassion for the planet, we are engrained with a universal humanity that desires connection over all things.

"Connection is needed instantaneously as we enter the world."

The Chemistry of Attachment

Let's start from the beginning. A child is born and touches its mother for the first time, its little hormones explode with chemical knowing that it's in the right place. This is the chemistry of attachment (Linda F. Palmer, 2002). We are all born helpless and require care and affection to survive. Without kind, empathetic care — without love — the brain and body will eventually shut down.

In order to stimulate the production of growth hormones and an immune system, a baby's body will shut down if it falls below the threshold of physical affection. This was originally understood in mammals as "runt syndrome," but now we are seeing this "failure to thrive" occur in orphanages with infants (Szalavitz, 2011). The stress system affects every cell in the body — which is preventable. Children are resilient with the right attention and affection.

Empathy as a Skill

An infant's default setting is love, care and compassion. As we grow into conscious beings, that humanity deepens and we develop empathy.

In Denmark, the national curriculum includes an hour of empathy-building each week for children aged 6–16. Students are shown pictures of other children experiencing different emotions — sadness, fear, frustration, happiness — and then talk about the images and discuss what the pictured child is feeling. This helps them analyse emotions, including their own. Children as young as 3 are encouraged to talk about teasing and bullying in order to learn about kindness towards others.

"In Denmark, children as young as 3 years old are encouraged to talk about teasing and bullying in order to learn about kindness towards others."

This program was contributed by Denmark's Mary Foundation, an organisation established by the Crown Princess Mary with the aim of combating social isolation. Their philosophy is "Everyone has the right to belong" (The Mary Foundation, 2007). These programs are designed to reduce bullying, improve emotional awareness, and help children articulate thoughts and feelings.

It's no wonder empathy has become the most important quality in successful leaders, entrepreneurs, managers and businesses (Jessica Joelle Alexander, 2014).

EQ Over IQ

"Successful people don't operate alone."

Jessica Alexander

There is now speculation that with the accessibility of information, employers of the future will prioritise the hire of emotionally intelligent (high EQ) people over intellectuals (with high IQ):

• 59% of hiring managers say they wouldn't hire someone with a high IQ and low EQ.
• 58% of positive variations in professional and personal success may be attributed to EQ (Business, 2015).

Empathy increases the capacity to forgive, greatly improves social connectedness, and enhances the quality of meaningful relationships — which research suggests is vital for a person's sense of wellbeing (Jessica Joelle Alexander, 2014). Through empathy, our personal wellbeing is sometimes threatened when learning of others experiencing harm. Animal cruelty might inspire someone to become vegetarian; an ecological disaster like the dying coral reefs may cause sadness and anger in others.

Interestingly, there is a subconscious need to distract ourselves when experiencing feelings of discomfort or pain from instances where we see tragedy but can't relate to the suffering of those affected. So, how do we distract ourselves? We fill our time with things that don't matter. This results in losing the most important connection of all — the connection we have with ourselves.

The Disconnect of Self

"The disconnect of oneself is the base of one's suffering."

More money, bigger houses, fancy cars, expensive clothes — most of us work hard and we want nice things. Everyone is entitled to that. But while we distract ourselves with the things we are programmed to believe are important, we sometimes lose sight of the bigger picture. We spend countless hours sifting through social media posts, consuming information we don't need. Teenagers are now spending up to 9 hours a day consuming media (Tsukayama, 2015) — a daunting statistic for our future generations.

We like, share, comment on other people's lives, seeking instant gratification through online connection. But what happens when we put that time and energy into ourselves? Would we offer ourselves the attention we so willingly hand out to "friends" online? Without our phones we can feel like we are missing a limb — but I invite you to try this simple activity: put your phone down, do something wild, and get into nature.

Nature, the Antidote

"Every child is born a naturalist."

R. Search

When we are outdoors, our oxygen level increases and heart rate goes down, resulting in immediate health benefits. Calmness, clarity, improved concentration and restored mental energy are just a few of the remedies nature offers to balance the mind and body (Lauren F. Friedman, 2016). It's important that we take time to treat ourselves with the respect and nurturing we deserve. Take a moment to feel gratitude for your able body that can walk outside, your lungs that can breathe in good energy, and the time you have to get to the beach or rainforest or bush — to enjoy the feeling of the sun on your skin and breeze in your hair.

"Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness."

Brené Brown

Connection in Early Childhood Education

Connection with nature creates the arena to think outside ourselves. Being supported by the environment increases the level of respect and value to the individual self. Therefore, caring for nature ultimately means having higher regard for our own existence within it — taking responsibility and ownership in compassionately relating to the environment.

In early childhood education, this is the time that children are establishing trust for the world, and educators have the opportunity to lead and model the values of connection. Adults make the mistake of trying to "teach" connection — but children already inherently know how to connect. Instead, we can support them by creating a space for those values to be encouraged, explored and elevated.

In order to make an impact, we naturally look to the big names who changed the world. But it's the people within the community who started with one child that we can draw inspiration from. Park the idea of making grand gestures and start with your own fulfilment as an educator — find your sense of wearthy. This will have a monumental impact on the children you care for, and it is what they will hold onto for the rest of their lives.

Connection is a powerful, wondrous thing. If we go beyond the physiological idea of humans being on earth to procreate, we can easily see the real reason we are here. Whether it's through love, compassion, intimacy, fear, frustration, strength, reflection — or listening to music and sharing a laugh — through connection we find meaning, and with meaning we are fulfilled.